CLEVELAND, Ohio What do you do when someone close to you has cancer?

Sometimes, late at night, I just hug Otto and cry, said Shanna Loede.

Otto is not her husband. Thats Matt Loede, who has been in a battle with lymphoma (a form of blood cancer) for nearly two years.

There have been 25 rounds of chemotherapy. And 25 rounds of radiation. And two stem-cell transplants. And nearly three months spent in the hospital since Matt was first diagnosed in April of 2019.

As if that wasnt enough, Matt recently spent five days in the hospital with COVID-19.

Matt is Shannas husband of eight years. He also has worked for several local sports radio stations, written for a number of sports websites in his 23-year career. He currently writes for the sports website Outkick.

OK, but who is Otto?

Hes the familys mixed terrier, a very huggy dog.

Otto knows to stay close when the sadness and fear try to squeeze the life out of hope and the tears flow with her prayers for her husband.

One piece of advice from Shanna: Its OK to have some nights when you just cry. Having someone (or a pet to hug) really helps.

HOW MUCH WORSE CAN IT GET?

Matts problems began with severe stomach pain and convulsions. Doctors first thought he had pancreatitis. Tests revealed lymphoma that had spread to his stomach and pancreas. At first, the hope was some early treatments would bring it under control.

That turned out to be wrong.

You find out theres a lot you cant control about this type of cancer, said Matt. Its like a tumor in the blood. But its not something they can just go in and cut out.

The Loedes hit what they thought was a low point in early January. A second round of stem cell transplants didnt work. The cancer had spread to his throat.

It was a special treatment, said Shanna. I had read so much about it. There was so much hope. It sounded like the saving grace for lymphoma. I probably overestimated it.

Doctors explained they had run out of the usual treatments.

There is no cure for me, said Matt. I know that hit Shanna hard when she heard the news.

That was one of the worst days. A few weeks later, Matt developed a cough. Then he had a sore throat and headaches.

One of Shannas biggest fears was Id get the virus, he said.

She panicked when taking his temperature. It was 104.

They rushed to University Hospital, where he had been undergoing treatments at the Seidman Cancer Center. Only now, he was in the COVID-19 section of the hospital. It was isolation for five days.

The fever broke within a few hours. But given how Matts body had been ravaged by nearly two years of chemotherapy and radiation, Shanna feared I was going to lose him.

But that didnt happen.

He didnt even need a ventilator, said Shanna. Matt has recovered well. Thats one of the things I tell people in this situation. Count your blessing, look for the miracles.

Shanna is the Director of Training and Development for University Hospitals. In the COVID world, she works from her small upstairs office in their Parma home. Matt is downstairs.

Another blessing, she said. Seidman gives Matthew great care, and Im affiliated with UH. Working from home allows us to be together more.

Shanna and Matt Loede love each other and Snoopy as they work together to fight Matt's blood cancer. Photo by Terry Pluto, cleveland.com.

IT REALLY IS DAY-TO-DAY

Shanna said she is a planner. She is 38, Matt is 45. Under normal circumstances, it would be easy to look way down the highway of life.

I like to think a lot about the future, she explained. Now, it really is day-to-day. Matthew is the love of my life. I try not to think, How long will I have him? Instead, I try to focus on the present. Thats new for me.

The doctors have never told the Loedes Matt has six months to live. But they have been candid about how its a battle to combat the spread. He is now heading into different clinical trials.

Theres not much Shanna can do on the medical front other than be there for her husband.

I cook his favorite food, she said.

Whats that?

Asian meatballs and rice, she said. Matthew is a pretty simple guy. He does like his mothers pierogies, but I cant make them like her.

Shanna raves about her neighbors, who have shoveled snow and brought food over to the house. Their church family from Cleveland Baptist prays for and with them.

There is a couple at church where the husband has had lymphoma for eight years, she said. They are a great help to us...and weve found we can help others going through cancer.

During the Christmas season, you can see Matt and Shanna Loede have lots of visitors. Photo courtesy of Matt Loede.

STRANGE DREAMS

Dreams can be a window to our minds and our fears.

Shanna said twice she had this dream: Matt walks through the door and says, I have six months to live.

But she hasnt had it for a year.

A few times, Matt has dreamed he was watching is own funeral. He saw the casket. He saw lots of people in line to pay their last respects.

I guess it was after the pandemic with all the people there, he said with a laugh.

But Shanna and Matt both said, Going through this makes you very aware of your own mortality.

CLOSER OR FARTHER APART

Matt said he hasnt spent much time on the Why me? question with God. Theres no answer coming. Hes at a place where he knows he has cancer. He is either going through it with God or without God.

If you say you believe and your faith is real, then you have to practice what you preach, said Matt. You dont just quit (with God) when you go though those periods of 12-to-48 hours after chemo where your muscles, your head, everything aches.

Shanna said thats when she feels helpless. Its a time to pray and wait.

I have felt closer to God and to Matthew during all of this, she said.

Matt loves Charlie Brown. Their home is filled with stuffed characters from the Charles Schulz comic strip. Snoopy seems to be everywhere.

At first, (all the stuffed animals) drove me a little crazy, said Shanna. But now, Im accustomed to them. They bring him comfort, and Ill never argue against something bringing him happiness right now.

Good Grief, is Matt like Charlie Brown?

I never thought of until now, she said. But yes. He is loyal, has a BIG heart and is a resilient optimist.

Good Grief! Snoopy & Friends are taking over the Loede household. Photo courtesy of Matt Loede.

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Someone close has cancer, what to do? A prayer and a dog helps Terry Plutos Faith & You - cleveland.com